Security with God

Brady is 6 years old.  Every day before Brady’s dad would go to work he would leave Brady a list of chores to do that day.   Each time Brady read through it, his brain would jump to the conclusion that what his dad was really saying was, “Brady, you have to do these chores or I will not love or accept you as much.  If you screw up too many times, you will get kicked out of the house and the family.”  What emotions do you think Brady would feel in those moments?  How secure do you think Brady would feel in his relationship with his dad?   Have you ever felt similar to Brady in your relationship with Father God?  Do you ever read God’s commands and jump to the conclusion that what He is really saying is that you better obey so that He will fully love you, accept you and allow you into Heaven? These are common distorted thoughts that subtly sneak into our minds and create insecure feelings and attachments towards God.  Read below to gain insight to help you catch, check and challenge these distorted thoughts that are hindering your security with God.

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Insecure Reactions Towards God

As we go through life, distorted ideas about God and our relationship with God will pop into our mind.  These can come from the world, our own brains or from demonic opposition.  When distorted thoughts pop into our mind, they will cause insecure emotions and behaviors.  Below you will see a list of common insecure emotional reactions, behaviors and thoughts that pop-up in a person’s relationship with God.

Common Insecure Emotions:

• Performance Anxiety
  
• Guilt
  
• Shame
  
• Pressure
  
• Fear of punishment
  
• Lack of self-acceptance
  
• Pride
  
• Self-Righteousness

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Common Insecure Behaviors:

• Striving to earn acceptance
  
• Striving to earn love
  
• Striving to earn righteousness
  
• Striving to earn blessing
  
• Striving to earn God’s attention
  
• Striving to earn God’s affection
  
• Putting walls up towards God
  
• Avoiding God
  
• Compulsive obedience
  
• Striving to avoid punishment
  
• Striving to avoid Hell
  
• Striving to avoid disappointing God
  
• Striving to avoid angering God
  
• Striving to avoid doing something that would cause God to distance Himself

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Common Insecure Thoughts:

Thoughts About God’s Acceptance

• Lie: Conditional Righteousness - The assumption that it is up to you earn righteousness through your moral performance.
  
• Truth: Imputed Righteousness - “Yet we know that a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ, not by obeying the law. And we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with God because of our faith in Christ, not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be made right with God by obeying the law.” (Galatians 2:16)
  

Thoughts About God’s Love

• Lie: Conditional Love - The assumption that God’s love is based on your moral performance.
  
• Truth: Unconditional Love - “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).
  

Thoughts About God’s Affection

• Lie: Conditional Affection - The assumption that God loves you because he has to, but he doesn’t really like you.
  
• Truth: Secure Affection - "For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs." (Zephaniah 3:17).
  

Thoughts About Eternal Security

• Lie: Conditional Eternity - The assumption that it is up to you to earn eternity in Heaven through your moral performance.
  
• Truth: Secure Eternity - “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
  

Thoughts About God’s Forgiveness

• Lie: Unforgiving God - The assumption that you used up all of your chances for forgiveness and God will not forgive you any longer.
  
• Truth: Unceasing Forgiveness - “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9)
  

Thoughts About God’s Punishment

• Lie: Punishing God - The assumption that God is waiting to punish you when you disobey.
  
• Truth: Merciful God - “Yahweh! The LORD! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness” (Exodus 34:6).
  

Thoughts About God’s Closeness

• Lie: Neglecting God - The assumption that God will withdraw from you, be distant from you or leave you.
  
• Truth: Ever-Present God - “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)
  

Thoughts About God’s Condemnation

• Lie: Condemning God - The assumption that God is shaking his head in disappointment or angry at you for sinning.
  
• Truth: Gracious God - “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)
  

Thoughts That God Has Human Flaws

• Lie: Fallible God - The assumption that God has the same imperfections that your human parents or other authority figures had.
  
• Truth: Infallible God - “This God—his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him” (Psalm 18:30).
  

Thoughts About God’s Relatability

• Lie: Impersonal God - The assumption that God only cares about your moral performance and does not care about other details of your life.
  
• Truth: Personal God - “The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” (Psalm 37:23)
  

Thoughts About God’s Boundaries

• Lie: Overly-Permissive God - The assumption that God is okay with you engaging in sin even though it is destructive.
  
• Truth: Protective God - “Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?” (Romans 6:1-2)
  
  

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How To Develop Security With God

• Identify Insecure Reactions: Be on the lookout for insecure emotions and behaviors in your relationship with God from the list above.
  
• Identify Insecure Thoughts: After you identify insecure emotions and behaviors, you will need to identify the thoughts that are causing those reactions. To do that, ask yourself, “What thoughts are going through my mind right now that are leading to these insecure reactions?”
  
• Identify Lies: Look at the list lies above and find out which lie category your insecure thoughts fit into.  Renounce those lies and give them to God.
  
• Meditate on Truth: Read the accompanying truth that counters that lie.  Meditate on that Bible verse regularly until it feels true.
  
• Give it Time: Our brains can start to grasp the truths of our security with God through doing the above 4 steps.  However, your brain will more deeply believe these truths as you tangibly experience God’s unwavering presence, love and grace day after day, month after month and year after year throughout your life.
  
  

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Final Thoughts

Your relationship with God was never meant to be built on fear, striving, or insecurity. Like Brady, many of us have misunderstood God’s heart, projecting human flaws or distorted assumptions onto a perfect, loving Father. But the truth is clear—God’s love, acceptance, forgiveness, and presence are freely given through Christ, not earned by our performance. When you catch yourself slipping into insecure thoughts or behaviors, pause and realign your mind with God’s promises. He delights in you, walks with you, and offers a security no failure or fear can shake. Rest in that truth, and let it reshape how you see yourself and your Father.